I really really hope it wasn't a mistake.

Please, don't let me have been duped again.  This time there's a lot more at stake.

Post Secret

This week had a lot I really enjoyed.

I am surprisingly calm at the thought of what I did.

Trying to emulate Caleb's facebook statuses, last night while trying to fall asleep I came up with these.

I am the hollow wood, chiming in the wind.
I am the glowing ember, high above the flame.
I am the ash left after the fire you started.
I am the dying leaf falling to the ground.

But I am none of those things. I am the content cat bathing in the sun coming in through the windows.

Speaking of cats, did you know that peta is trying to petition for the renaming of fish. What do they want to name them you ask? Sea Kittens. Because no one would want to kill a cute little sea kitten.

http://www.peta.org/sea_kittens/

So. Not. Kidding.

My hands are cold. My hands are cold.

This is my favorite song right now:
And my friend calls me up
With her heart heavy still
She says, "Andy, the doctors
Prescribed me the pills.
But I know I'm not crazy
I just lost my will.
So why am I, why am I
Taking them still?"

"I need something to believe in
A breath from the breathing
So write it down,
I don't think that I'll close my eyes
'Cause lately I'm not dreaming
So what's the point in sleeping?
It's just that at night I've got nowhere to hide"

To the sleepless, this is my reply:
I will write you a lullaby

Started with a lie.
Ended with a lie.
Came back with the truth.
Does it end here again?

The choice is yours.


I know I'm crazy. I know I have a lot of thoughts. But that doesn't mean you can make this my fault.
You lied to me.
And the truth came out (haha) soo randomly, I had to laugh.

My feelings remain the same, but I am PISSED that you did this to me.

"This is why I don't open up to girls like you."

Do NOT try to make me feel bad about this. When the truth comes out after a lie you better expect to get a whole hell of a lot of word vomit from me.

But I took a xanax and I am calmer now.

So look. Its not the amount that bothers me Its the fact that you lied. End. Of. Story.


To anyone who has no idea what I'm talking about (everyone since that person doesn't read my blog lolz), I apologize for my rant. I can't sleep now though and needed to get my stream of consciousness out not in texts to that person since it was pissing them off.

Oh and to the other one that MAY read this blog, I don't care if you've slept with however many girls. I just didn't expect to hear that from you. Don't make a big deal out of that.

A new year.

The end of so much and the beginning of...what?

He tried not to seem vulnerable or hurt, but I don't know what he really felt.

I cried all night.

And I thought I was ready.

Vague.

To clarify. The first part was about people coming back. The second part was about memories flooding my eyes.

This part is about my eye and right side of my face twitching.

And how can he be so blind? I've been trying for 6 months. And now I just don't care.

Well I saw that coming

I do remember saying that I saw this coming. Or I at least hoped. But it happened. I'm clairvoyant.
--------------------------------------------

Sometimes it happens when I see an older person.

It happens a lot when I walk down the aisle with baby wipes and shampoo and diapers.

It happens when its quiet.

But it definitely happens when I find this in my room: