I think sometimes writing makes me more depressed.

I'm not sure why I feel this way. Sometimes I wonder if it's hearing others say how they feel or seeing it. Reading a sad book or watching a sad show. Maybe I've just built it all up for a while. Maybe it's just fate that I feel like this every few months.

I'm happy. I don't understand. I have a lot of good things going for me in my life.

But sometimes I get...sad? Emotional?

My chest is tight and I can't breathe. I told the doctor I'd been feeling like this lately and that I didn't know what was causing the stress, but that it just kept building up and getting worse. That I still wake up tired and that my whole body aches because I tense myself up. That my stomach is eating itself again because I'm nervous over nothing. She said, "And how's school? I guess I'll see you I'm three months."

I'd been fighting to only see her every three months and not to see a counselor and now when I'm showing the signs of needing it, when I'm crying out, she ignores me.

I just wish I could breathe. I feel like I'm not getting enough oxygen.

You're like your own sun.

052. Complete physical therapy and eventually join a gym.

Sometimes I wish I was born in a different time. And then I realize that I have way too many problems to be a functioning human being in a different time. I would have been one of those girls that everyone knew about, but weren't supposed to talk about. Suicide or disappeared mysteriously, sent off to some asylum because nobody knew how to fix me when all the strings broke.

Lying in bed realizing it's been a while since I've posted anything with any substance. So I'll get to feelings later.

In the last two weeks i've seen Brand New, The Get Up Kids, Eisley, Say Anything and Copeland. And now I'm broke. But it was so totally worth it.

I'm officially an active member in my sorority (Christian one), but it's kinda overwhelming. It keeps me busy. But I wonder already if it's keeping me too busy. I also feel like a liar. I haven't been going to church. I haven't been having a quiet time or relying on God for anything. I miss Him.

I have bronchitis. And now I'm having an allergic reaction to the antibiotics. I'm gonna scratch my skin off.

I still don't like Barack Obama. And it's not a race thing, gee.

I've received the 3 best mix tapes (cds) ever this week.

Gosh I itch.

Christmas will be here all too soon. I'm really excited for turkey day though.

I'll edit a picture in here tomorrow cause I think it makes for a better post.

I need to start getting my stuff ready to sell on etsy.

I miss playing music.

I wish I felt better.

I'm all mixed up inside. And itchy.

I am very sick. Getting my xray done today.