I wanna know it all. Part of that surprises me and part of it doesn't. At least she's a nice girl. You're right. But I can't get it out of my head that she's just a girl. Of course, what am I? I can't say anything. I have no right to say anything. At all

at all

at

Everyone tell me their tumblrs (Kate!! If you want to :)). I'd like to see them all.

So tell me when you hear my heart stop,
You’re the only who knows.
Tell me when you hear my silence,
There’s a possibility
I wouldn’t know.


Detach

re:attach

detach

I can't find my Xanax bottle and I can't remember the last place I had it. 

It's cold here and it shouldn't be so the heats on which dries out my nasal passages making it harder and painful to breathe the cold air. Vicious cycle...so I'm laying in bed snorting ice cold saline spray to moisten. Mm

My friend's mom just passed away. It seems that cancer can either be slow and painful or it can come on quick and take someone before you realize they're leaving. I'm at a loss for words as to what I can say. I can compare and empathize, but I think all that helps is someone who listens and holds and cries with you. And majorly listens. I hope Sarah has that. If she doesn't, Sarah, I'm here. Death is never easy. And it's never the same. No one but you and your family will have the same experience. Hold onto that. Don't worry about being strong for them. You all need to be weak together. It's how you'll all get stronger. Otherwise, it'll bite you in the butt.

So this is the new year...

and I don't feel any different.

I'm almost 21 years old and I've lived in 3 different decades already. I'm going into my fourth. I spent the majority of my schooling in the...10's? The tens...how do you even speak about the first decade of the 2000's. How did they speak about the first ten years of the 1900's? I don't have anyone to ask. I guess we'll figure it out soon enough.

I've decided that I don't want a brand new start this year. I'm tired of starting over and trying to fix everything all at once. Fresh starts aren't always all they're cracked up to be. So I'm just gonna keep going. Keep living. Survive. And we'll see if this year is any better than the last one.


P to the s. I drank waaaaay more than I planned last night. People shouldn't offer me shots. People really shouldn't offer me shots when I've had basically a whole bottle of sparkling wine by myself. Buuuut the party I went to was totally indie and awesome haha. It was out in the woods and three bands played and basically, it was the best new years eve I've ever had.

And I got my first kiss of the new year. My first kiss at midnight of a new year. So that was nice.

Too bad my boyfriend is upset about something and doesn't want to talk about it because, "It's not that important and [he'll] get over it." WTF is that?! If it's not bothering you and you don't want to talk about it, don't tell me about it! Don't mention it at all.



I haven't eaten at all today. I'm nauseous.