Thursday, July 29, 2010

Guys I'm really not doing well. I've been coming down off cymbalta from 120-90-60-30 mg and now to nothing, but adding a new med. The problem is that cymbalta withdrawals are awful. There are lawsuits being filed against them. I'm reading about people taking the capsules and splitting up the beads so that the drop is not so intense. I've already been at 0 for two days now though and I'm hesitant to start adding it back in again. But the withdrawals. I can't drive I can't eat I can't work. Its awful. I cant even explain what it's like. Having been off for two days, I don't want to need it again, but I don't know if I can last like this for weeks. I don't know if I can last for days.

Brain buzz is the worst. Its like mini seizures. My eyes twitch and shake and I get dizzy and nauseous trying to catch my breath. Hot flashes and then cold flashes.

Oh and my skin is falling off...

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Just because I push through the pain, doesn't mean it's not there.

Monday, July 5, 2010

I haven't written in a while. I notice that I tended to write on my bad days, so that's kind of a good thing. But I think that a lot of times I don't realize I'm having a bad day or several until I look back on it. And I wonder if it gets to be bad because I don't write and don't get things out before they build up. The hard part for me is figuring out what the problem is when I'm doing okay. Because until doing poorly, I don't always realize. To be honest, I sometimes don't figure it out till years later.

I have masking problems. They cover up what the real issue is. I have to work like an archaeologist, slowly, carefully brushing away the dirt that's built up over the years to uncover the big find.