Friday, April 16, 2010

New direction?

I feel like I went into this blog wanting to write about my adventures in college. Fun stories and homework and that sort of thing. It turned into more of a diary for public complaining. It's not that that is such a bad thing. It's just not what I intended this blog to be. When people are directed to this page I don't want them to see a whiny girl. I want them to see an educated girl (woman?) who is trying her hardest to learn more about everything. I want to share my insights on everything I'm learning in an educated way. In other words, I don't want to sound stupid. I don't want to sound immature. I also don't want to come off as thinking I'm smarter or better than anyone. I just want to write my thoughts down in the hopes that someone might read and agree.

So I'm taking this blog in a new direction. Or I'm going to create a new page to blog at. Because this isn't what I want to be remembered as.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Buy as much Polaroid film as I can find, since they aren’t making it anymore.

038. Grow my hair out and keep it that length for a while.

065. Complete a paper before the night before it’s due.

068. Take my vitamins everyday.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I'm going to compile a list of bumper stickers both conservative and liberal that I despise. Starting with this one. Wait...just found one that was worse. "caution: I drive like a Cullen"

Just... Oh my gosh. Seriously.

Ok back to political.

"War is not pro-life."

Yeah well, neiher is the fucking death penalty, but you see a lot of pro-lifers supporting that too. Maybe we should just give in and change our name to "anti-choice.". I don't know. I get the my body argument. But when the fetus is old enough to survive without you...that's not your body anymore. And no one can use the argument that the baby still relies on something or someone to survive because then there's a whole hell of a lot of peoeple we need to be killing. Including everyone who relies on the government to get by?

Maybe we should rethink the wording of these things.

EDIT: and then we're allowed to do what we want with our bodies. Except there are rules about harming ourselves. Doctors are required to break confidentiality when we are harming ourselves or others. Sooo the baby isn't a parasite. It's not harming you.

Just wanna say: Babies are awesome. And that's why I'm against it. I hate that people want to abort children with down syndrome and things now. I mean if you know the kid is gonna be brain dead and have no arms and legs...I get that. But most of the time there's no way to tell. My sister wasn't supposed to survive past two. She's a thriving 32 year old. Has a job. Has friends and a "fiancé" and is the best part of our famiy. Wouldn't be me without her.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Well, well, well. I was thinking in the shower tonight. And I've kind of forgotten all that I wanted to write about. That would happen.

It had a lot to do with the fact that I see some acquaintances from high school and they've still got friends from high school. Not a lot, but a few, like me. But the thing is, they still hang out. Not just at Christmas. And I realize that it's harder when people go away to college. I did that for a year, remember. But some people don't keep in touch at all. Life gets crazy. School is busy. And we get together once a year and things feel normal.

But who are you? What do I know about you anymore? Do you know anything about me?

I had one friend who came back home for a day. Everyone got to see him. Except for me. How's that for friendship? Bad enough that we don't even talk anymore, but you don't even tell me you're coming home?

And that's just made me realize that I need to hang on tighter to the friends I have. See the ones here as much as possible. Because I don't want to lose them. And the truth is, I need a sturdy foundation. Some people to lean on. Because I fall a lot. And no one ever knows. And that might be why I keep falling.

And then (I don't know how it works) I have a few friends who I could not talk to for a month or two. And when we get together or send messages, things are normal. And it's not just, "Hey how was your semester? Good to see you." Inside jokes, inside jokes, game/movie and done. It's real conversation. It's, "how have you really been? How's this and how's that? How have you been feeling?"

And it's those people too that I need to not neglect, and rely on more. I like to listen, but I know it's hard for others sometimes. To sit and listen to someone complain for hours on something you've probably already heard about. To listen to medical problems that your grandma is having, but no young person should be dealing with. But I've got a few who are willing <3

And if anyone ever needs to rant or spew to me...I've always got my ears open.