I think I'm beginning to feel better. Somewhat. I haven't been crying nearly as much, except in appropriate situations. I haven't been having panic attacks where I'm texting people, saying, "There's something wrong. I'm not okay." And even if I do have panic attacks, I don't want that to be what I do. I don't need to throw my burdens on other people.

I'd like to go a semester without crying in the library. I'd like to end my college experience on a happy note.

And I really want to go to England. And I don't want to let money stop me. Or time. If I don't get in for the fall because I'm cutting it so close on time, why can't I work for a year and get my Master's a year later. There's no reason I can't do that.

I'm having happy moments again. I'm not staying inside my head even when I'm with people, or feeling sorry for myself. I'm enjoying things and moments and seconds.