My chest is so tight. I can't breathe I can't breathe I can't breathe.

I was supposed to go to bible study tonight, but my chest was so so tight I decided to stay home. It got worse. My cousin/youth minister thinks I'm faking I think.

And while trying to fix my moms computer, I didn't save all her pictures and music. Ugh. I feel so bad. How am I supposed to sleep tonight?

Sometimes I just want to tell people the truth. That the pain you feel on your worst day is the pain I feel every day. Think about how my bad days feel.

But no one believes me really.

So why bother.

What a horrible week this has felt like. It's had it's pleasant moments.

Lunch with a good friend.

Flowers on my doorstep.

The one night of rush I got to attend.

It's also had crap.

Work hours seem to drag on.
My lower back has a pinched nerve.
Last night my chest tightened up. It hasn't loosened up since.

I'm having a migraine/panic attack and I'm at the 24 hour point. Please stop now.

Being anxious about nothing makes no sense. It also makes me depressed. I start thinking about all the reasons for me to be depressed or anxious and it starts a cycle.

Arguing doesn't help. Can we stop that soon plzkthx.

Is it bad if I realize I haven't written in too long and just force an entry? I don't want to force it, but I feel like I need a prompt or something.

Let's see.

I'm so tense.

I have a pinched nerve and tight muscles. I stand all day at work or walk/limp from class to class. By the time I get home exercise (or even stretching) is not possible. I sit in a slouched position in my chair, making my back worse and stessing about homework.

I don't fall asleep at night. Probably should put down the phone right? Yeah, probably. I'll get right on that.

I sleep way more than a normal person should. Wake up sleepy and lethargic. I could stay curled up all day long. I wish I could.

I want to feel better.

http://www.mtinhaiti.com/news/

Want an insider's look at what is going on in Haiti? This is my aunt and uncle's blog. They live in Haiti about 9 months out of the year. Haiti doesn't allow them to be there for more than 3 months at a time. They have been traveling to Haiti for as long as I can remember, doing missions work. They decided to do it full time two years ago. Their love for Haiti is...it makes my heart swell. I wish I had a heart like them. When I was little I wanted to be just like them. I wanted to be a missionary. I wanted to marry a preacher and have three kids. Two girls and a boy. Their story is amazing. I wish I still had a heart like that.