Monday, March 15, 2010

Tonight I wanted to write iny journal. When I got home I washed my face, took my medicine (can call it that), and turned off the light. So no journal.
I've been thinking a lot about my medication. Is it really helping me? Am I better? How will I know? How do I know the difference between depression and simple sadness anymore? Once that one has been blurred, is there ever any going back?

Ah, going back. The point of my sadness. The point of my rant. Is it ever right to want to go back and change certain things. If you were given the chance, how would it affect the future. Are we destined to live certain lives? Do certain things? Be with certain people? If I went back to childhood could I stop this sickness from happening? Write the great American novel?

If I question decisions I've made, does it mean they were the wrong ones? Does it matter?

I know God has a plan for me. I know that I need to male certain decisions to get there though. He knows what's gonna happen. I just hope his plan is what he sees.