Sunday, December 20, 2009

Well, bye bye, scholarship. With my grades this semester, I doubt I'll be able to pull it up by the next. Even with all A's. Gosh how could I let myself do this? I stopped playing games, I cut back on hours and still I did poor. Worst grades yet in college. Junior year was tough in high school too.

If I lose my scholahship, I won't be able to afford school.

I want to give in.

I need to see my doctors. All of them. I'm having stress issues that are starting to worry me. I do not want to fall back into depression. The stress causes so many health issues for me as well. TMJ, IBS, breakouts, infections. I can't fight anything off. And the panic attacks are starting again. The tightness in my chest. That overwhelming feeling that something isn't right. I need to gain control, but I don't know how.

I just want to lay around and do nothing. I feel the worst I've felt in a long, long time. Help.